By Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum

Selective Mutism (SM) is a complex anxiety disorder where individuals, often children/teens, are unable to speak in specific social situations despite speaking comfortably in others, such as at home.

A unique challenge within Selective Mutism is whispering—a common response observed in children who are struggling to use a full speaking voice in environments where they feel pressured or overwhelmed. Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum, a pioneer in understanding and treating Selective Mutism, sheds light on this behavior, helping us understand why it occurs and how to address it effectively.

Why Do Children with Selective Mutism Whisper?

Children with Selective Mutism often whisper instead of speaking at a regular volume due to a combination of internal and external factors. Here are some key reasons why whispering occurs:

1. Lack of Comfort or Confidence in a Setting:

  • Children with SM often whisper because they don’t feel fully comfortable or confident in their environment. This could be due to the setting being unfamiliar, the presence of individuals they are not at ease with, or heightened anxiety. While whispering can feel like a compromise for the child, it is still a limited form of communication shaped by fear.

2. Speaking Selectively to One or a Few Individuals:

  • Many children with SM are verbal with one or two trusted individuals in a setting, such as a close peer or teacher, but remain mute with the majority. Whispering in these instances is often a stepping stone where the child feels “safe” enough to speak quietly but not loud enough to be overheard by others.

3. Feeling Overwhelmed:

4. Perceived High Expectations:

5. Chronic Whispering Due to Conditioned Response:

  • Over time, some children develop a conditioned whispering response due to repeated emphasis on speaking. If speaking is approached in a way that feels overwhelming or stressful, the child may resort to whispering as a default communication style. This behavior can become chronic if not addressed with sensitivity.

6. Prolonged Whispering Despite Feeling Comfortable:

  • In some cases, even when a child becomes comfortable in a setting, whispering persists as a habit. This phenomenon, known as “Selective Whispering,” often occurs when the behavior has been reinforced for a prolonged period. Without intervention, the whispering may replace typical speech as a conditioned response.

Addressing Chronic Whispering in Children with Selective Mutism

Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying anxiety and environmental factors contributing to whispering. A child whispering is not simply “choosing” not to speak; it is often the result of deeply rooted anxiety and learned behavior. Here are some strategies based on her work:

1. Create Comfort Before Focusing on Speech

2. Reduce Overwhelming Stimuli

  • Modify the environment to make it less overwhelming. Create smaller, quieter settings for interaction and ensure the child has a trusted person nearby.

3. Avoid Excessive Focus on Speech

  • Avoid highlighting or rewarding whispering directly, as this can inadvertently reinforce the behavior. Instead, praise overall participation and engagement without placing too much emphasis on how the child communicates.

4. Gradual Desensitization

  • Use gradual exposure techniques to help the child transition from whispering to speaking. Start with speaking in front of trusted individuals in quiet, controlled environments and slowly expand the circle to include others.

5. Model and Encourage Normal Speech Volumes

  • Provide opportunities for the child to hear and practice normal speech volumes in non-threatening ways, such as reading aloud in a quiet setting or talking to pets. Modeling calm, confident speech can also encourage the child to mimic these patterns.

6. Use Voice Volume Apps

  • Voice volume apps can help children become aware of and practice using different speech volumes in a fun and non-threatening way. Examples include:
    • Voice Meter (tracks and visualizes voice volume in real-time)
    • Too Noisy Pro (uses a playful approach to monitor and control sound levels in the environment)
    • Decibel X (measures sound levels, which can be helpful for older children learning about volume).
  • These tools allow children to visualize and regulate their voice volume, making the process interactive and engaging.

7. Create Visual Charts for Distance Awareness

  • Create visual charts that depict increasing distances from a trusted individual. These charts can be used as part of a game where the child practices whispering or speaking at different volumes based on their distance. For instance:
    • Start close to the trusted person and whisper.
    • Gradually move farther away, increasing the voice volume as distance increases. Measure the distance and keep track of progress on the chart. This turns the process into a fun and goal-oriented activity while teaching children how to modulate their voice.

8. Seek Professional Guidance

  • Interventions such as the evidence-based Social Communication Anxiety Treatment® (S-CAT®), developed by Dr. Shipon-Blum, focus on treating the root causes of SM and fostering social communication skills. Working with a professional who understands SM can make a significant difference in helping the child progress.

In Summary

Whispering in children with Selective Mutism is more than a habit; it is a symptom of anxiety and a coping mechanism in response to environmental and emotional challenges. By addressing the factors that contribute to whispering and providing gradual, supportive interventions, caregivers and educators can help children transition to speaking at a normal volume. As Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum reminds us, the goal is not just to help children speak but to empower them to communicate confidently in all areas of their lives.