Explaining Fear of Positive Evaluation

by Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum

Fear of Positive Evaluation is a concept that refers to the anxiety or discomfort some individuals experience when they are praised, acknowledged, given positive attention.

For children with Selective Mutism, this fear may play a crucial role in maintaining their silence, especially in social or performance situations.

Although selective mutism is often associated with fear of negative evaluation (for example, being judged or criticized), fear of positive evaluation suggests that even positive social interactions can feel overwhelming and threatening to these children especially when an individual senses a high expectation from others.

What is Fear of Positive Evaluation

Fear of Positive Evaluation arises from the idea that being positively evaluated may:

1. Increase expectations: Children fear that others might expect them to maintain or exceed that level of performance in the future. This often causes avoidance and/or higher anxiety.

2. Draw attention: Being in the spotlight makes them feel self-conscious or vulnerable.

3. Invite scrutiny: Positive attention may lead to more interactions, which can feel overwhelming for a child with social anxiety or selective mutism.

4. Expose vulnerabilities: Accepting praise might force a child to acknowledge their own capabilities, which could conflict with their desire to “hide” socially.

Fear of Positive Evaluation in Children and Teens with Selective Mutism

Children with Selective Mutism have challenges with social communication in select settings, even though they are often talkative and comfortable in environments where they feel safe (like at home). For these children, fear of positive evaluation compounds their anxiety, as even well-intentioned encouragement can reinforce their avoidance behavior.

Real-World Examples of Fear of Positive Evaluation in Children and Teens with Selective Mutism

1. Classroom Participation:

A teacher asks a selectively mute child to read aloud. After much effort, the child whispers the answer, and the teacher enthusiastically praises them. Instead of feeling encouraged, the child becomes more anxious, worrying that future expectations will increase or that other students will focus on them.
Result: The child avoids participating again, fearing the attention.

2. Social Interactions:

At a birthday party, a child with SM speaks a few words to a peer. Another adult, such a parent overhears and excitedly exclaims, “Wow, you’re talking! That’s amazing!” The child immediately shuts down because they feel spotlighted.
Result: The child avoids speaking further to prevent a similar reaction.

3. Acknowledgment of Progress:

During a family gathering, a selectively mute child begins speaking with their cousin via a communication game. When the parent or another individual shares this progress publicly (e.g., mentioning it in front of the child or others), or suggests the child now speak to his aunt/uncle (prior to the child being ready, the child may regress due to the perceived pressure of maintaining or replicating this behavior.
Result: The child reverts to silence or bridges down in communication.

4. Performative Pressures:

A child with SM quietly answers a question during show-and-tell. Peers clap or smile at their bravery, which inadvertently highlights their actions. This positive attention can feel as distressing as criticism.
Result: The child avoids participating in show-and-tell again.

Why Does This Happen?

For children and teens with Selective Mutism:

Positive attention can feel as intrusive as negative attention.
Any form of attention—positive or negative—heightens their self-consciousness and reinforces avoidance behavior.
They may fear disappointing others if they cannot consistently perform or speak, leading to an internal cycle of anxiety and avoidance.

How Can Adults Help?

To support a child with SM and address Fear of Positive Evaluation:

1. Be Subtle with Praise: Offer low-key, neutral reinforcement (e.g., a smile, nod, or quiet “thank you”) instead of loud or effusive praise.

2. Normalize Behavior: Treat speaking or participation as ordinary and expected, rather than exceptional.

3. Avoid Overemphasizing Progress: Celebrate milestones privately without putting undue focus on them in public or in front of the child.

4. Build Comfort Gradually: Create low-pressure environments where the child feels safe to engage without fear of being spotlighted.

5. Empower, Don’t Push: Allow the child to set their own pace while providing gentle encouragement.

6. Work on acknowledgment and assessment: Working in therapy to help the child understand (the Social Communication Bridge) and assess/acknowledge their fears, anxiety, will help with acceptance and open conversation about challenges to set the stage for treatment progress.

GET STARTED AT THE SMART CENTER

In Summary

By understanding the fear of positive evaluation, caregivers and educators can create an environment where children/teens with selective mutism feel less pressure, fostering their confidence and reducing avoidance behaviors.

Elisa Shipon-Blum DO2025-02-10T15:53:24-05:00February 10th, 2025|Comments Off

About the Author: Elisa Shipon-Blum DO

Elisa Shipon-Blum DO, is the President and Director of the Selective Mutism Anxiety and Related Disorders Treatment Center (SMart Center) located in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. She is the Founder and Director Emeritus of the Selective Mutism Association (SMA) and a Director of the Selective Mutism Research Institute (SMRI), a foundation established to study Dr. Shipon-Blum’s theories and treatment methodologies on Selective Mutism. In addition, Dr Shipon-Blum is Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychology & Family Medicine at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. She is a board certified physician who specializes in Selective Mutism. Dr. Shipon-Blum practices in Jenkintown, PA, and has developed the evidenced-based Social Communication Anxiety Treatment (S-CAT)® from her years studying and researching individuals with Selective Mutism. She consults worldwide with families, treating professionals, and educators, and has helped thousands of children from around the world overcome Selective Mutism. Based on her successful S-CAT® program, Dr. E also created CommuniCamp™, an intensive group treatment program for children with Selective Mutism, social anxiety, and extreme shyness. Dr. Shipon-Blum lectures throughout the country on the topic of Selective Mutism, performs school evaluations and training for treating professionals, educators, and parents, and is considered one of the world’s leading experts in the treatment, research, and understanding of Selective Mutism. She has been a featured expert on national television programs such as 20/20, CNN, Inside Edition, and Good Morning America, as well as other local, national, and international television and radio broadcasts. In addition, she has been featured in TIME Magazine, People Magazine, and has interviewed with newspapers such as the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, San Diego Tribune, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Palm Beach Post. Dr. Shipon-Blum is presently involved in multiple collaborative research projects with top researchers and clinicians. In addition to her research she has written numerous articles and books on Selective Mutism and anxiety including ‘Easing School Jitters for the Selectively Mute Child,’ ‘The Ideal Classroom Setting for the Selectively Mute Child,’ ‘Understanding Katie,’ ‘Supplement Treatment Guide Book to Understanding Katie‘, ‘Selective Mutism Summer Vacation & Back to School Guide‘ and ‘ Selective Mutism and Social Anxiety Disorder in School .’ She has also produced numerous DVDs on the topics of treatment and assessment of Selective Mutism, and the development of school accommodations and interventions for mute children. Dr. Shipon-Blum (or Dr. E as her patients refer to her) prides herself on being ‘down to earth’ and ‘easy to speak to’, and resides with her family in the northeast suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Notably, she is also the mother of a child, Sophie, who suffered from and overcame Selective Mutism and is the inspiration for the work she does each day.