By Dr. Elisa Shipon Blum

Key Takeaways:

✔ Normalize discussing feelings to create a safe and supportive environment.
✔ Use numbers, drawings, or emojis to make feelings easier to express.
✔ Apply the scale to real-life scenarios and track progress over time.
✔ Incorporate rewards and positive reinforcement to keep the child motivated.
✔ Provide words for the child’s feelings to help with a greater understanding of emotions

For children with Selective Mutism (SM), anxiety in social situations can make verbal and even nonverbal communication difficult. Overcoming this challenge requires the child to first recognize and acknowledge their own difficulty in communicating. The CBT-based Social Communication Anxiety Treatment® (S-CAT®) approach emphasizes the importance of helping children assess and express their anxiety in ways that feel safe and manageable.

One powerful tool in this process is the Communication Comfort Feeling Scale, which helps children gauge and express their level of anxiety in various social situations. This method fosters self-awareness, emotional regulation, and gradual progress across the Social Communication Bridge®.

What Are Communication Comfort Feeling Scales?

A Communication Comfort Feeling Scale is a structured way for children to rate their anxiety or discomfort when faced with different communication scenarios. This helps them build awareness of their feelings and identify patterns in their social communication challenges.

Scale Structure:

  • For Younger Children (Ages 3-7): A scale from 0 to 3, where:
    • 0 = Easy / Not Scary
    • 3 = Most Scary / Uncomfortable
  • For Older Children and Teens (Ages 8 and up): A scale from 0 to 5, where:
    • 0 = Easy / Not Hard
    • 5 = Most Difficult / Hardest to Do

Why This Works:

  • Many children with SM relate more to words like “scary” (younger children) or “hard to do” (older children).
  • It provides a structured way to express emotions, especially for those who struggle to verbalize their feelings.
  • It can be adapted using visual aids, art, music, movement, or writing for children who prefer non-verbal expression.

Examples of Communication Comfort Scales in Action

Here are real-life examples of how different children used feeling scales to express their levels of anxiety in various social situations:

1. The “Super Duper Scary” Chart (7-Year-Old Boy)

A 7-year-old boy created a visual scale to represent his comfort levels:

  • “Mr. Super Duper Scary” = How he feels during circle time at school.
  • “Mr. Itsy Bitsy Scary” = How he feels driving to school.
  • “Mr. Feels Good” = How he feels at home playing with friends.

This creative approach allowed him to externalize his anxiety, making it easier for parents and teachers to understand and support him.

2. The “Flower and Rainbow” Chart (8-Year-Old Girl)

An 8-year-old girl used a combination of colors and numbers:

  • A rainbow represented playing at recess (her most comfortable setting).
  • A tall #5 flower represented gym class and circle time (her most challenging settings).
  • A medium-sized #3 flower represented her small math group (a moderate level of difficulty).

By visually categorizing her comfort levels, she was able to communicate her struggles without needing to verbalize them.

How to Implement the Feeling Scale with Your Child

Step 1: Introduce the Concept

  • Explain that the goal is not just about talking but about understanding how they feel in different situations.
  • Use words that match their stage of understanding (e.g., “scary” for younger children, “hard to do” for older children).

Step 2: Create the Scale

  • For younger children: Use faces/emojis (happy, neutral, scared) or characters like the “Super Duper Scary” scale.
  • For older children: Use a number scale (0-5) with descriptions of feelings.

Step 3: Apply the Scale to Real-Life Situations

Ask the child to rate their anxiety level in different settings, such as:

  • When a teacher asks a question.
  • When greeting a neighbor.
  • When ordering food at a restaurant.
  • When playing with friends at recess.

Step 4: Use the Scale Consistently

  • Have the child track their progress over time.
  • Use rewards (stickers, tally marks, or small privileges) for every time they assess their feelings.

How This Fits into the Social Communication Bridge®

After determining a child’s baseline stage of communication, goals can be set based on their comfort level:

  • Stage 0-1 (Nonverbal Communication): Focus on identifying anxiety triggers and using the scale to measure discomfort.
  • Stage 2 (Transitional Verbal Communication): Encourage small verbal responses based on comfort levels (e.g., whispering to a buddy (Verbal Intermediary) Shaping sounds into words).
  • Stage 3 (Verbal Communication): Quiet few words to more elaborative/initative and expressive speech in anxiety-inducing situations.

“By assessing feelings before and after interactions, children gain a sense of control and predictability, reducing their anxiety over time.” – Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum

Final Thoughts: Building Confidence Step by Step

Helping a child with Selective Mutism acknowledge and assess their anxiety is a crucial first step in building confidence and communication skills. The Communication Comfort Feeling Scale is an easy-to-use, adaptable tool that fosters self-awareness, gradual desensitization, and communication progression across the Social Communication Bridge®.

By implementing these strategies, we can empower children with Selective Mutism to understand their own emotions, reduce anxiety, and take meaningful steps toward greater social communication.