By Dr. Elisa Shipon Blum 

As the school year approaches, many children look forward to seeing friends, meeting new teachers, and starting fresh. For children and teens with Selective Mutism, social anxiety, autism, or other social communication challenges, however, the start of school often brings something else:

Questions.

Questions may seem simple to others, but when a child struggles with social communication, they can feel overwhelming. The challenge is often not knowing exactly what someone will ask, needing to process the question while managing anxiety, and then figuring out how to respond quickly enough.

One of the easiest ways to reduce this stress is through preparation.

💡 Why Preparing for Common Questions Matters

When children already know the questions they are most likely to hear, several important things happen:

  • They spend less mental energy trying to figure out what is being asked.
  • They reduce the processing demands of generating a response in the moment.
  • Their anxiety decreases because there are fewer surprises.
  • Their confidence increases because they already know what they want to say.
  • Their brain can focus more on communicating rather than thinking of an answer.

Think of it like studying before a test. We rarely expect children to perform well without preparation. Social communication works much the same way. Preparing for common conversations gives children a roadmap for success.

Rather than hoping conversations happen naturally, we can make them feel familiar before school even begins.

🎒 The 5 Most Common Back-to-School Questions

These questions are asked repeatedly by classmates, teachers, neighbors, family members, coaches, and other adults.

1️⃣ “How was your summer?”

This is probably the most common question during the first week of school. Help your child prepare two or three possible answers.

Examples:

  • “I went to the beach.”
  • “I visited my grandparents.”
  • “I stayed home and played soccer.”
  • “I went to camp.”

Encourage them to elaborate when comfortable. For example, “I went to the beach. My favorite part was collecting shells.” The goal is not a perfect answer. The goal is simply having an answer ready.

2️⃣ “What grade are you in?”

This question is asked by nearly everyone. Practice answering naturally.

  • “I’m in fourth grade.”
  • “I’m starting eighth grade.”
  • “I’m a sophomore.”

Because the answer is factual and predictable, it is often an excellent confidence-building question.

3️⃣ “Who’s your teacher?” or “Do you like your teacher?”

Children hear these questions from classmates, relatives, neighbors, and family friends. Practice responses such as:

  • “My teacher is Mrs. Smith.”
  • “I have Mr. Jones.”
  • “So far, I really like her.”
  • “We just met, but she seems nice.”

Preparing both the factual answer and a simple opinion helps conversations continue naturally.

4️⃣ “What classes do you have?” or “What’s your favorite subject?”

Older children and teens hear these questions frequently. Practice answers like:

  • “I have math, science, English, and history.”
  • “I really like science.”
  • “My favorite class is art.”
  • “I think I’m going to enjoy biology.”

If discussing schedules creates anxiety, reviewing the schedule beforehand can make these conversations much easier.

5️⃣ “Do you play any sports?” or “Do you do any after-school activities?”

As children and teens get older, classmates often ask about activities outside of school. These questions provide an opportunity to discover shared interests and begin building friendships. Practice responses such as:

  • “I play soccer.”
  • “I’m on the swim team.”
  • “I take dance classes.”
  • “I play the violin.”
  • “I’m in the school band.”
  • “I like art classes.”
  • “I’m not playing a sport right now, but I really enjoy drawing.”
  • “I’m thinking about joining a club this year.”

Having a few responses prepared helps children answer confidently and can naturally lead to follow-up conversations with peers who share similar interests.

🏡 Practice Before School Starts

Instead of asking children to simply answer these questions repeatedly, make practice fun, natural, and enjoyable. Try:

  • Asking one question during dinner each night.
  • Playing “Teacher and Student.”
  • Practicing in the car.
  • Tossing a ball back and forth while asking questions.
  • Using stuffed animals or dolls with younger children.
  • Recording answers on a phone so your child can listen and practice.
  • Practicing with grandparents or trusted relatives.
  • Practicing with siblings or friends.

The goal is repeated, comfortable exposure—not perfection.

💬 Don’t Stop with Answers

Many conversations continue with another question. Help your child prepare one or two follow-up questions they can ask after answering. Examples include:

  • “How was your summer?”
  • “What grade are you in?”
  • “Who’s your teacher?”
  • “What classes do you have?”
  • “Do you play any sports or activities?”

Children who can answer and ask a question often feel more engaged in conversations and help keep the interaction going naturally.

✨ Individualize the Questions

Every child is different. Think about the situations your child will encounter during the first few weeks of school. Teachers may ask:

  • “What did you do this summer?”
  • “Can you tell me your name?”
  • “Do you need help?”

Peers may ask:

  • “Want to sit with us?”
  • “Do you want to play?”
  • “What do you like to do?”

Family members may ask:

  • “Are you excited for school?”
  • “What are you looking forward to?”

The more familiar these questions become, the less cognitive effort they require, allowing children to focus more on communicating than on thinking of what to say.

🌟 Preparation Builds Confidence

Confidence rarely appears first. Preparation usually comes first. When children know what questions to expect and have already practiced answers that feel comfortable, they free up valuable mental energy for what matters most: connecting with others.

Small moments of preparation before school often lead to big successes once school begins. Helping children anticipate conversations doesn’t remove every challenge, but it can make those first interactions feel far more manageable. Sometimes, knowing the question before it is asked is exactly what a child needs to find their voice.

🍎 Remember: Don’t wait until the first day of school to begin practicing. Spending just 5–10 minutes a day preparing for common conversations can make a tremendous difference in helping children feel calmer, more confident, and more ready to connect with others when school begins.

– Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum
Creator of Social Communication Anxiety Treatment® (S-CAT®) and the Social Communication Bridge®
SMart Center President & Founder