Children with anxiety are more prone to poor self-esteem when compared to their un-anxious peers. Here are seven ways we can help our children build self-esteem.
Children with anxiety are more prone to poor self-esteem when compared to their un-anxious peers.
Selectively mute children may suffer from poor self-esteem simply because of their inner frustration and confusion over their inability to speak. Parents, teachers and professionals may not understand the SM child’s silence. This, in turn, makes suffering in silence that much more debilitating for our children.
Here are five words to consider when aiming to maintain your child’s self-esteem:
- TRUST
- SELF-NURTURE
- AUTONOMY
- IDENTITY
- INTIMACY
SM children often feel scared and alone in their silence. As a result, they often become more dependent on their parent(s) and less autonomous. Relationships are often affected, especially as the child ages and others become less understanding of the SM child’s inability to speak and interact as others do. Therefore, intimacy with others is affected. Parents tend to try and protect their child from feeling scared or upset. They often protect the child so much that the child becomes more dependent and does not develop the ability to care for themselves as other same age children often do.
Building self-esteem is crucial to a child’s feeling of self worth. With increased self-esteem comes confidence which is a crucial element needed in overcoming Selective Mutism.
Here are seven ways we can help our children build self-esteem
Convey to your child that you understand their ‘inability’ and/or ‘difficulty’ speaking. Let them know that you are there to help them feel more comfortable. This enables your child to TRUST you and feel safe
Highlight your child’s positive attributes. Find opportunities for the child to succeed.
Maybe it’s art, sports, music or writing. When a child SUCCEEDS, self-esteem automatically increases.
Help your child increase their independence. Push them by giving them achievable moments to be independent. Whether that’s in school, in the real world, or even at home.
Giving your child additional responsibility. Ask them to make their lunch. Have them fold their laundry. Teach them how to feed your pet.
Be consistent. All children do their best with routine and structure. Help them succeed by being consistent with the environment you’re putting them in, the tasks you’re giving them, and the expectations you’re setting.
Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Accept them, and do not judge them.
Praise their efforts. Letting your child know that they did a great job. For some children, that’s all they need. Understand where your child is in terms of their child’s ability to communicate. Expecting a completely mute child to say hello or whisper goodbye is often close to impossible. For this child, a simple nod or smile is a major accomplishment that should be praised.
Elisa Shipon-Blum DO, is the President and Director of the Selective Mutism Anxiety and Related Disorders Treatment Center (SMart Center) located in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. She is the Founder and Director Emeritus of the Selective Mutism Association (SMA) and a Director of the Selective Mutism Research Institute (SMRI), a foundation established to study Dr. Shipon-Blum’s theories and treatment methodologies on Selective Mutism. In addition, Dr Shipon-Blum is Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychology & Family Medicine at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. She is a board certified physician who specializes in Selective Mutism.
Dr. Shipon-Blum practices in Jenkintown, PA, and has developed the evidenced-based Social Communication Anxiety Treatment (S-CAT)® from her years studying and researching individuals with Selective Mutism. She consults worldwide with families, treating professionals, and educators, and has helped thousands of children from around the world overcome Selective Mutism. Based on her successful S-CAT® program, Dr. E also created CommuniCamp™, an intensive group treatment program for children with Selective Mutism, social anxiety, and extreme shyness.
Dr. Shipon-Blum lectures throughout the country on the topic of Selective Mutism, performs school evaluations and training for treating professionals, educators, and parents, and is considered one of the world’s leading experts in the treatment, research, and understanding of Selective Mutism. She has been a featured expert on national television programs such as 20/20, CNN, Inside Edition, and Good Morning America, as well as other local, national, and international television and radio broadcasts. In addition, she has been featured in TIME Magazine, People Magazine, and has interviewed with newspapers such as the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, San Diego Tribune, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Palm Beach Post.
Dr. Shipon-Blum is presently involved in multiple collaborative research projects with top researchers and clinicians. In addition to her research she has written numerous articles and books on Selective Mutism and anxiety including ‘Easing School Jitters for the Selectively Mute Child,’ ‘The Ideal Classroom Setting for the Selectively Mute Child,’ ‘Understanding Katie,’ ‘Supplement Treatment Guide Book to Understanding Katie‘, ‘Selective Mutism Summer Vacation & Back to School Guide‘ and ‘ Selective Mutism and Social Anxiety Disorder in School .’ She has also produced numerous DVDs on the topics of treatment and assessment of Selective Mutism, and the development of school accommodations and interventions for mute children.
Dr. Shipon-Blum (or Dr. E as her patients refer to her) prides herself on being ‘down to earth’ and ‘easy to speak to’, and resides with her family in the northeast suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Notably, she is also the mother of a child, Sophie, who suffered from and overcame Selective Mutism and is the inspiration for the work she does each day.
