Navigating adolescence and the emerging adulthood years can be challenging. However, with the right guidance, teens and young adults can develop the tools they need to thrive.
Here are ten ways to help teens and young adults build essential life skills, foster independence, and boost confidence.
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Set Personal Goals:
Encourage teens and young adults to set realistic and achievable goals, both short-term and long- term. In other words, List the big picture goals (in the perfect world) and then break down the goals into smaller, perhaps more manageable goals, to accomplish their ultimate, ‘big picture’ goals. Creating visual lists and timelines can be helpful for planning and navigating their path to accomplishing their goals. This practice not only provides a sense of purpose but also promotes a proactive approach to life.
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Manage your Time:
Teach effective time management skills, emphasizing the importance of balancing academics, extracurricular activities, and leisure. Learning to prioritize tasks helps teens and young adults become more organized and self-reliant. Share your time management skills. Calendars, pop up reminders on smart devices as well as hard copies of weekly/monthly calendars in a common area can tremendously help.
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Develop Decision-Making Skills:
Guide teens and young adults through the decision-making process, helping them weigh pros and cons. Empowering them to make choices fosters a sense of autonomy and responsibility. Too often, teens and young adults rely on caregivers for direction to where they have minimal confidence in decision making. This can negatively affect self-confidence. When asking relevant questions and your child looks to you for an answer, let them know you are interested in their opinion. Give them time to plan and think, then check back at a designated time. Encourage they write down their options. This act of writing helps with processing information and ultimately, decision making since they can visually see the options. If they are still struggling, provide them choices of options. Overtime, as you navigate away from answering and they begin to figure out solutions, this necessary life skill will develop.
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Build Communication Skills:
Effective communication is crucial for personal and professional success. Ask questions and share views in a nonjudgmental and positive manner. Offer tips on active listening, expressing ideas confidently, and resolving conflicts respectfully. For individuals who struggle with anxiety, it can be motivating to work on skills in such areas. Since most teens/adults are verbal with family but not yet expressive, focusing on greetings, common questions, social action plans as well as conversation starters and expanders are helpful. Role play and troubleshooting concerns and areas of anxiety are key to willingness and motivation to engage and communicate.
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Develop Financial Literacy:
Introduce basic financial concepts such as budgeting, saving, and understanding the value of money by the early teen years. Too often, parents delay this critical life skill leading to frustration and lack of personal responsibility as the teen and young adult age which can negatively affect self-confidence. Equipping teens and young adults with financial knowledge prepares them for a more independent future. Helping them to secure bank accounts, credit cards and balancing their check book is a great starting point.
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Build Self-Care Practices:
Promote self-care as a means of maintaining mental and physical well-being. Discuss and model the importance of adequate sleep, exercise, healthy eating habits, grooming and finding time for activities they enjoy. For those who struggle in this area, their outlining, charting with timelines may be needed for some individuals. This helps with independence and accountability of critical self-care skills.
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Develop Problem-Solving Skills:
Teach your teen and guide your young adult on how to approach challenges with a problem- solving mindset. Encourage your teen or young adult to break down issues into manageable steps and seek support when needed. Very often, parents and/or caregivers save/rescue the teen or young adult from any struggle or frustration; however, as in #3 above, refrain from providing the answers. Encourage your child to break down options into steps by suggesting they write down lists and/or creating step by step charts. This allows for inner control, the ability to visualize options, lowered anxiety and ultimately, an increase in self-confidence and independence.
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Build Healthy Relationships:
Guide teens and young adults in cultivating positive and healthy relationships with peers, family, mentors and as they age, with romantic partners. Emphasize the importance of mutual respect, effective communication, and setting necessary boundaries. When any of these pillars of a healthy relationship are severed, this can lead to inner turmoil, confusion, and increased anxiety/sadness, which ultimately can negatively affect their sense of self. If a parent or mentor witnesses an unhealthy pattern with a relationship an open discussion is recommended to share concerns in a nonjudgmental and supportive manner. Schedule time with your child to avoid a sudden and unexpected discussion that can cause anxiety and avoidance. Avoid such language as “you need to” or “you should” since this disregards your child’s views and opinions and creates dependence. Offer suggestions and implement strategies within this article such as decision-making, problem- solving while practicing active listening. And ultimately, modeling this behavior is the most critical aspect to demonstrating healthy relationships since this is how children, no matter their age, will learn.
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Embrace Failure:
Help teens and young adults understand that setbacks are a natural part of life. Encourage resilience by framing failures as opportunities for growth and learning. Sharing your own experiences with challenges/failures often helps your child feel less alone and more willing to share. Avoid minimizing their feelings or experiences since this can lead to feelings of heightened anxiety, sadness and feeling alone. Practice active listening, be nonjudgmental, supportive and acknowledge their concerns/frustrations. Avoid trying to ‘fix’ the problem but practice the skills outlined in this article such as problem-solving, decision-making, etc.
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Build a Support System:
Highlight the importance of surrounding oneself with a supportive network of friends, family, and mentors. Having a reliable support system can enhance confidence and provide guidance. It’s important to know that as individuals age, they find their ‘friends’ and social connections via areas of common interest. I.e., clubs, activities and perhaps work or higher education settings. Having mentors in various skill areas helps with additional support as well. I.e., coaches, teachers, or therapists. For parents, being there for your child, whether a planned 1-1 get together, and/or an “I love you” or “Just checking in” text/call are wonderful ways to demonstrate your ongoing support and love.
By focusing on these key areas outlined above, teenagers and young adults can embark on a journey of self-discovery, independence, and confidence. While being positive and supporting their growth, empower them to take control of their lives, make informed decisions, and embrace the exciting challenges that lies ahead!