Holidays are meant to be a joyous time for everyone! However, for a child with Selective Mutism, the preparation for social events, school performances, parties, changes in routines, and visiting with countless relatives and friends can be quite anxiety-provoking.

In this blog post, you discover how to prepare your child for the upcoming holiday season and learn S-CAT® tips/strategies to implement within the home, school, and real-world environments.

To begin to help your child feel comfortable, confident, and hence, more communicative, it’s crucial to know where you child is on the Social Communication Bridge®.

Make sure to understand the practical yet critical Golden Rules of S-CAT®:

  1. Comfort precedes communication and progress does not occur in a group. Therefore, begin to build comfort and implement strategies away from the group
  2. Social engagement via Frontline™ and Handover/Takeover™ will benefit all children and teens with Selective Mutism.
  3. Demystification is critical. Helping your child acknowledge and assess.
  4. The importance of asking/answering questions! If you do not ask, your child or has no opportunity to answer.
  5. Minimize their need to think and process by pre-planning, scripting and practicing.

At Home

This time of year, the child or teen might attend parties with visitors in small or large groups. Prepare your child as much as possible for these moments. The more your child knows what and who to expect, the more secure they will feel. Schedule play-dates and get-togethers with peers from school ahead of time, in a smaller group, if possible.

Examples of S-CAT® strategies to use:

  • Greetings; waving game, HI/BYE copy game
  • Frontline™ and Handover/Takeover™
  • Verbal Intermediaries®
  • Use of phonics and silly sounds for young children.
  • Ritual Sound Approach (RSA)®: progression into speech via thinking of sounds from a mechanical view. Use this for select children who are “speech phobic” and stuck against the nonverbal wall.
  • Keep your child or teen distracted and focused on a task. For example, work with them to make holiday treats or holiday decorations.

When a child/teen attends a holiday party at their home or at the home of friend/relative, educate others on how to best engage with your child. This is critical! Remember, knowing your loved one’s location on the Social Communication Bridge® is key when educating!

Tips and strategies include:

  • Create an About My Child worksheet to provide to others prior to seeing your child.
  • Respect warm up time! Arrive early if going to a party. If having a party at home, stagger times people arrive so child can acclimate.
  • Prepare a bag of props (Distractions!)
  • Give child a role in the social encounter to build confidence, e.g. make the cookies, set the table, Takeover™ the coats, Handover™ sodas, cookies, etc.
  • Prepare for Common Questions. What will people ask your child? For example: How is school? What do you want for Chanukah or Christmas? Work with your child to guess the questions and practice answers.
  • Small group interaction is best. Avoid middle-of-the-crowd interactions. Perhaps engage in the kitchen or small den.
  • Involve your child in every conversation
  • After warm-up time, ideal situation for give/take of communication:
    • SM Interview Games
    • Be aware of environment. Avoid loud and large environments with “lots” of people
    • Be aware of individuals with a high expectations. Did you educate them? Some people will not necessarily respect what you suggest. Use your judgment here!

At School

Your child or teen will attend school parties with unfamiliar visitors in the classroom, school plays/shows/performances, and large assemblies. It’s impossible to avoid this time of year! Prepare ahead of time for changes in routine.

Class parties are often loud and crowded. To prepare for party, have an upbeat, positive discussion with child in manner about the plan for the party, who will be present and what to expect.

During the party:

  • Sit the child with their Classroom Buddies and his or her parent away from the middle of the group.
  • Distract and have a focus. For example, bringing a sibling can be a focus and remove some attention off the child with SM. Many kids enjoy showing off their sibs!
  • Have parents act as Verbal Intermediaries® in the classroom if child is mute or barely verbal.

To prepare for school performances/shows, discuss child’s role in the performance and expectations with the teacher (assuming parents are in close contact with staff, and staff has been educated to SM and child’s level of social comfort/communication).

DO NOT use this situation to test or challenge your child! Remember, progress rarely occurs in a group!

Instead, suggestions would be to:

  • Suggest Bridging down
  • Pair and group with closest buddies
  • Nonverbal role (e.g. holding up signs)
  • No pressure to sing or dance
  • Do not ask your child if they will or did sing. Accept what he/she can do!
  • Do not ask your child to smile. Accept what he/she can do!
  • Rehearse at home with friends in fun way
  • Parents should be upbeat and positive

Real World Environments

In the real-world, chances are the child will visit busy, loud, crowded stores and restaurants. This is beneficial time to practice as there are endless opportunities! Choose smaller, less crowded, and quieter locations to practice your child games/strategies and parenting goals. Remember, it’s not about talking, but comfort, engaging, and progression of communication. Know where the child is on the Social Communication Bridge®.

Examples of Real-World tips and strategies:

  • Frontline™
  • Handover/Takeover™
  • Hi/Bye Games
  • Scavenger hunts.
  • Preplan and create visuals.

Games change based on age of the child, the child’s contributing factors into the development and maintenance of their SM, and where the child is on the Social Communication Bridge®.

To effectively overcome Selective Mutism and all anxieties, an individual needs to be involved in an Individualized or Group Treatment program such as CommuniCamp™, such as those rooted in the evidenced-based Social Communication Anxiety Treatment® (S-CAT®). Developed by Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum, this holistic or “whole child” treatment approach is designed to reduce anxiety, build self-esteem, increase social comfort and communication in all settings.

Happy Holidays!