Meet Ella
When Ella was 3 years-old, her family noticed that she was completely mute in almost all social settings. Even after speech therapy and counseling, Ella still struggled to be comfortable speaking in settings outside of the home. At age 14, Ella’s family discovered the SMart Center! Ella began treatment by attending CommuniCamp™ and continued with monthly follow-ups. Now, Ella is preparing for college, has started her first job, and has come back to CommuniCamp™ as a Jr. Counselor!
Read more about how Ella overcame SM below!
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How old was your child when you first noticed he/she was mute in select settings?
3 years old.
Please briefly summarize where/when your child was mute/not mute.
Outside the home, Ella was mute in most social situations. She would engage with her immediate family in public as long as she wasn’t getting unsolicited attention from others. She became very attached to her mom and siblings. As she became comfortable she could speak a few words to teachers and peers to answer questions as she progressed through school. She continued to have a hard time initiating and maintaining conversations.
Was your child in treatment for Selective Mutism, Social Anxiety, or related disorders before finding the SMart Center?
Ella received speech therapy, and counseling through her school.
What brought you to seek treatment at the SMart Center?
During Elementary and middle school years, the school setting is where she struggled most. During those years we were able to arrange play dates for her and the schools would help with social interactions through lunch dates with peers etc. Once we got to highschool, those opportunities went away, Ella really struggled socially. The most important factor was Ella finally wanted to get help, recognized there was a problem and “bought into” the idea. We waited for her to be ready.
What SMart Center services did you use?
- CommuniCamp™ Intensive Group Treatment & Parent Training Program
- Treatment Professional Consultation
- Follow Ups
- Books
- Webinars
- Podcast
How often do/did you consult with the SMart Center?
Following camp Ella had two follow-up consultation appointments. She also participated in two additional camps as a volunteer.
What changes have you noticed?
Ella has made such amazing progress since our weekend at Communicamp last March. Ella interviewed for a local job and is working as a cashier at a grocery store where she greets and interacts with each customer. This was the first school year that she looks forward to going to school (most days:) Her attendance and mental health has improved dramatically. She is applying to colleges, and is planning on living at school! Ella wrote her college essay on her selective mutism. She is more comfortable being herself in public albeit a more reserved version of herself. She has her first boyfriend and has formed some new friendships. Ella is thriving!!
What S-CAT® strategies helped the most?
Our entire journey with the SMart Center has been beneficial. Ella has realized she is not alone. She has been given tools that have improved her self confidence and self worth. We try to plan and talk about expectations for various settings, from practicing for an interview, talking to a teacher, to attending a party.
Do you have any “key” advice for parents going through it now?
Don’t beat yourself up. Have patience and grace with your child and yourself. We tried to get help for Ella when she was younger, but she was not ready and it was not effective. You are your child’s best advocate. Find ways to help your child make friends and remain engaged. Keep educating yourself and others. Most importantly, never let go of hope!
Read Ella’s college essay about overcoming Selective Mutism below!
A caterpillar forms a chrysalis to protect itself from predators, high up in a tree or plant, it hides away from others in isolation. Like the caterpillar, I have spent most of my life living in a small, isolated capsule. Unlike the caterpillar, I struggled to break free from my shell. My parents recall a silly, happy, and smart little girl so full of life when at home, but incredibly withdrawn, timid, and scared in public settings. I have a rare anxiety disorder known as selective mutism. Selective mutism made it impossible for me to speak in social situations, especially at school. This made it difficult for me to make friends and form connections. My voice is an important part of me, yet I could not physically share my words with others. Outside my comfort zone, anxiety quickly took control of me, my heart pounded and a weight on my chest appeared whenever I tried to speak, letting not a single word out. Through the years rumors echoed, “she doesn’t talk,” “oh yeah she’s shy”, “who, the quiet girl” filled my classes and a social stigma accompanied me throughout my small community. I persisted through school, fighting the pain of social isolation, frozen in my chrysalis.
Following the pandemic and the return to school my depression and isolation scaled higher. School is supposed to be fun, full of memories and friends. Alone, I grappled with my mental health. No one spoke to me, most teachers ignored me, I did pretty much everything on my own. Feeling invisible, I found myself in a dark place, and became increasingly withdrawn. This is the point of my life when I finally reached out for help. No progress can be made without taking the first steps to break free of one’s comfort zone. I discovered the SMart center and attended Communicamp last year where I was able to meet teens like myself, who shared similar struggles in life. In a world so vast it is hard to find others who truly understand. It was the first time I felt like I fit in somewhere and was accepted for who I am. This experience opened my eyes, and gave me strategies on initiating conversation with peers in social settings. With growing confidence, I was able to return to camp as a volunteer, helping younger campers with selective mutism find their voice. I was inspired by their bravery. Funny how you can learn so much about yourself by helping others.
Now in my senior year I am starting to break free of my chrysalis. By not letting my selective mutism be an obstacle, rather using it to empower and motivate me to find my voice that I have kept hidden for so long. Through a rigorous selection and interview process, I was chosen by faculty members to join Link Crew, and the National Honor Society. I earned my first varsity letter in cross country. I also started working as a cashier, a job that I did not have the courage to do just a short year ago.
School has not been an easy journey all these years, but I have bravely persevered and have been academically successful. Although I still struggle in social settings, I am moving in the right direction. I’m able to communicate more freely, and have begun my transformation into a butterfly. Gradually finding my freedom in the social world, pushing myself to improve and progress each day, for each new day is a day to conquer not in fear, but in confidence. I am ready to start college, be free of insecure whispers and judgment and explore my now limitless possibilities. I want to embrace my personal struggles, learn and grow from them, and use my challenges to help others as I begin to explore potential careers. Watch me emerge from my chrysalis, spread my wings, and fly!
