By Dr. Elisa Shipon Blum & Dr. Jenna Blum

When we think about communication, we often imagine words flowing easily in conversation. But for children and teens with Selective Mutism (SM), speaking is not simply a matter of willingness—it is a matter of comfort, confidence, and readiness. One of the most underestimated yet essential tools for helping children with SM is warm-up time.

💡 Why Warm-Up Time Matters

Children and teens with SM live with high levels of social communication anxiety. When entering a new or stressful situation such as walking into a classroom, attending a social event, or facing a conversation with a peer, their nervous system goes into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode. For many, this means silence.

Warm-up time is not wasted time. It is the foundation of progress.

🌈 What Warm-Up Time Can Do

🧘 Lower Anxiety Levels

  • Entering a situation without pressure to speak allows children to breathe, observe, and adjust. Over time, this lowers their baseline anxiety and makes speaking feel possible.

🤝 Build Comfort and Connection

  • Silence does not mean disengagement. During warm-up periods, children may participate through nonverbal actions such as smiling 😊, nodding 👍, or joining a game 🎲. This connection lays the groundwork for verbal communication.

🌟 Support for Highly Sensitive Children

  • Many children with SM are also highly sensitive 💜. For these children, new environments, unfamiliar people, or even sensory input can feel overwhelming. When they are anxious, processing can be challenging—they may freeze, take longer to respond, or shut down. Warm-up time reduces the need to overthink or process under pressure. Instead, it provides the space to gradually acclimate, adapt, and feel more comfortable. As the environment feels safer and less overwhelming, communication flows more naturally.

🌉 Support Progression Across the Social Communication Bridge®

  • In Stage 1 (Nonverbal), warm-up may look like pointing, gesturing, or handing over objects.
  • In Stage 2 (Transitional Verbal), the child might whisper to a buddy 🤫, use a Verbal Intermediary®, or practice sounds.
  • In Stage 3 (Verbal), warm-up can mean starting with short phrases, gradually expanding into full conversations 🗣.
  • By respecting where a child is on the Social Communication Bridge®, warm-up time helps them move forward without being pushed too fast.

🌟 Foster Independence

  • When children are given time instead of being rushed or spoken for, they learn to manage their own anxiety and take initiative—whether that means waving 👋 to a peer, whispering to a friend 🤗, or answering a teacher’s question 🏫.

💪 Promote Success and Confidence

  • Success builds confidence. Warm-up time ensures that when a child finally does use their voice, it is on their terms, making the experience positive and reinforcing 🌟.

🛠 How to Incorporate Warm-Up Time

At school: Allow the child to arrive a few minutes early ⏰, help set up the classroom 🖍, or start with a buddy activity before academic tasks.

At home: Before guests arrive 🏡, give the child a preview of who is coming and allow them to warm up with a game 🎨 or shared activity.

In the community: Let the child explore the environment such as a restaurant 🍽, store 🛍, or playground 🛝 before expecting participation.

At social events: Avoid putting them on the spot. Instead, encourage nonverbal engagement first, then gradually facilitate communication 💬.

🌼 A Gentle Reminder

Progress for children and teens with SM is not about how quickly they can “talk.” It is about how supported and safe they feel while learning to use their voice. Warm-up time is not a delay. It is the doorway to success. 🚪✨

By allowing children the time and space they need—especially our highly sensitive children—to adapt, acclimate, and feel comfortable, parents, teachers, and peers can transform overwhelming situations into opportunities for growth, independence, and genuine communication 💖.